I write this as an apology to my children who had to grow up as small church pastor kids. I think I understand how tough it is. It isn't enough that you are a pastor's kid, but you are also a pastor's kid in a small church--what's the difference?
A small church pastor often isn't paid very well. Therefore, there isn't a lot of money to go around for a lot of the extra stuff that other kids may get. And if there is extra money it usually is sacrificed for the church or to send the pastor to a conference that the church can't afford to send them to.
Because a small church pastor isn't paid very well, often times the spouse has to work as well. This causes extra stress on the kids as there are more chores to do, less parental volunteering and the wonder if my parents will be able to make it to the game, concert, play, etc...because they are both working.
Because a small church pastor usually doesn't have a staff they end up working more (many even have to have a second job) and therefore family time suffers.
Finally, small churches do not usually have vibrant children and teen ministries and the small church pk never knows what it is like to have a children's pastor or a youth pastor.
So to my children who have been in a small church their whole life I'm sorry that you've missed out on some things.
I think your perspective is warped. Sorry to be blunt. Compared to 99% of believers around the world you are a millionaire in comparison. You spend extra money for pastors conferences? What a waste in comparison. There is something wrong with your relationships in your small church and with your Lord if you need pastors conferences to keep your soul fire going. 1 John 1:7 spells out the power God offers and through his people.
ReplyDeleteNot paid very well? If I’m reading Paul right on ministry “free of charge” and “refusing rights” to pay, God can provide fully with no pay from the offering plate. One of the odd reasons pay is expected is the notion that “preach the word” = lecture the word for 30 - 45 minutes by one man with zero interaction, zero participation from anyone else, and zero reproduction to any other brother in the fellowship for shared ministry. I can’t seem to find this dynamic anywhere in the NT but it is very popular in a wealthy American culture. The gathering God says believers are “not to forsake” is the exact opposite of lecture. You know Heb. 10:24,25 calls specifically for “one another” communication. Do what the Word calls for. It’s the “new and living way.”
Are vibrant children and teen ministries essential now for raising christian children? I grew up as an MK with no TV, no driving till I was 18, no job either, church every week in a foreign language, and God provided a great experience for me.
Perhaps you should be apologizing for God’s lack of provision from your personal standards.
Thanks Tim, that is one thing I love about Christians: they are always quick with an encouraging word!
DeleteActually I was 11 days late. What specifically was encouraging to you? I recognize what I said was more rebuke and correction - a call for a severe paradigm shift in serving. I think these transformations could make a very encouraging shift in you and to others as you pass it on. My fellowship is smaller than yours and far less "organized" than yours. My kids are not spiritual giants but I see God's hand at work when I am willing to participate with Him in what He asks for, not what tradition says I should do that nullifies much of what God asks for. I led our family away from "vibrant children and youth ministries" because they were dens of co-dependency for lazy parents, eager to consume their own giving to hire "experts" so they did not have to be involved in discipling and modeling truth to their own children. They could enjoy donuts with other adults in their own niche group of folks just like themselves, never needing to cross any relationship boundaries or expect God to bless their life cross generationally. It's all so predictable and self-centered. It's part of a 30 years journey to "throw off the things that hinder and the sin that so easily entangles so I can run the race marked out for me..."
DeleteJim,
DeleteA couple of thoughts that might be prudent to consider:
First, look up the definition of "Lament" and then find Psalms of Lament in Scriptures. This would be beneficial to you as you lead others and counsel them.
Second, read Matthew 7 in conjunction with 1 Timothy 1.15. These passages have to do with judgement and how we should consider ourselves in relationship to others.
It is a huge sacrifice. It takes a very special person to accept God's mission for them in a small church. It takes someone humble, strong, resourceful, patient, modest, loving and selfless. Your children love you regardless of the "things" you have been able to give them. They know you love them and you do everything in your power to show them your love and give them the small amount of time that you DO have away from church-minding tasks. You are truly WEALTHY because of the person you are and all that you give to others! If you had little, you would have little to give.
ReplyDelete