This marks the 30th year I've been going to a gym. The very first one, besides my basement, was Heavy Metal Gym in Union Lake owned and operated by Rick Black. I've had many memberships in other gym since then: Lifter's (Fayetteville, NC), Iron City (Pontiac), Powerhouse, World's and Bally's (Waterford), Champions (Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor), Powerhouse, Ray's and the YMCA in Adrian to name the ones I can remember. I've learned a lot over the years. But I still learn new things that help me get bigger and stronger or leaner depending on what I'm training for. There are guys at my current gym, Jeff Willet's Powerhouse, who I pick up tips from (Rex, Dave, Josh, John and Jeff to name a few). Without them I wouldn't be working out as hard or as efficiently as I should. I consider myself a seasoned veteran of the gym, but I still need help in my fitness journey.
The same is true in my spiritual journey. I'm a pastor with a wall full of degrees, but without a spiritual director I wouldn't be all that I could be or anywhere close to what God desires me to be. A spiritual director helps us on the journey. Even the best of the best guides that lead expeditions up Mount Everest need Sherpas to help them on their journey. Just as a personal trainer can help you in the gym, a spiritual director can help you in your walk with God. None of us are to the point where we've arrived and no longer need assistance.
"If I tap, I start again in 3 seconds. If I don't, I start again in 3 months."
~ Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy
I am sincere believer that in our spiritual lives we sometimes need to tap out and admit we've been defeated so we can get back to our feet and start again. Sometimes we just miss the mark and fall short in our spiritual journey--too often we try and hide that fact. When we hide it, when we fail to admit that we are in a bad position, we are at great danger of putting ourselves in a worse position where we will incur severe damage and set our journey back a great deal.
The greatest example of this is King David. If he had simply admitted he was lusting after Bathsheba, he would have encountered a lot less grief. However, let us even say he had the affair--if he had admitted his failure then and not tried to cover it up he would still have encountered a lot less grief. In King David's case lusting put him on the slippery slope to murder all because he was too tough to tap out and admit defeat to his lustful desires.
We are a culture that likes to express toughness. I can do it, I can fight through this, I can make this right, etc... There is nothing wrong with tapping out, admitting defeat, getting on your feet and continuing the journey.
Lately I have not felt like doing any reading--heck, I haven't even felt like doing any writing. Perhaps I am suffering from post-education blues. I'll look at my Kindle or a book I know I want to read and I just shake my head like a toddler being force-fed spinach. I'll open up Word and stare at the blank screen while my thoughts drift from the Tigers to the Lions to any number of situations that are like a thorn in my flesh. Even my workouts have been somewhat lacking.
Part of me wants to kick myself in the seat and say "giddy-up...lower the shoulder and drive on...when the going gets tough the tough get going...pull yourself up by the boot-straps, and so it goes". And that would be normal for me. However, as I have gotten older I have become more contemplative. Instead of running through the wall I have started to give thought to why the wall is there. What can I learn from the wall and what is God teaching me about myself with such a wall. I have to resist the urge (the temptation) to just smash the wall and be done with it--after all that would be much easier. It would be easier still to ignore it and walk around it. But no, I have to, I need to do the hard work of soul searching contemplation.
Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich write that the wall represents our will meeting God's will face to face (The Critical Journey). They add: "We sit in awe of the process of surrendering and going through the wall [eventually]. But, as we emerge, we are able to move along on our journeys with much less clarity about the direction and much more assurance of not having to be in charge of our lives. We are being transformed, turned inside out."
Giving up power, giving up being in charge is difficult--even when we turn over control to God. The popular bumper sticker reads "God is my co-pilot". God needs to be more than the co-pilot, he needs to be the pilot while we tend to others on the trip.
